Help, My Child Refuses Therapy!

Many children refuse and avoid therapy, especially when first suggested.  Though far less common these days, some may experience a social stigma around getting mental health care.  Others feel that parents are forcing them into therapy to pathologize them when they are going through relatively healthy behavioral changes (such as teenage disconnection from the family).  Some children may experience social anxiety about opening up in the most intimate way to someone who is completely new.  

In all of these cases, I urge parents to be patient but not give up.  If a child refuses/avoids even meeting a therapist, there is a strong chance that they really need to be there.  

When I meet them, I ask children to commit to three sessions before they “fire” me. In cases of strong reticence, therapeutic alliance must be the ultimate priority.  I will use media, animals, and games to build a sense of fun around therapy.  If the child is a teenager, I will watch their favorite show to have a common icebreaker topic.  

In almost all cases, children relax into the new environment where they are being fully heard.  Some “test” me by being slightly rude or sharing something salacious, and in all cases, I am unflinching.  This gives children a strong sense of the therapist as a neutral and fully non-judgmental presence in their worlds, which for most, is a wholly new experience.  

If you feel like your child needs therapy but is hesitant, feel free to contact our Child Therapy team at Kairos Wellness Collective.