Parenting Therapy
What is standing between you and becoming the parent you have always wanted to be?
Do you find yourself yelling when you wish to be connecting?
Do you feel anxiety about your parenting?
Do you feel guilt about not parenting your best?
Are your children acting less connected and less respectful?
Are you caught in an endless cycle of punishing?
It can be painful to feel like you are drifting apart from your kids. No one wants to be disconnected from the people they love most. However, being your “best self” as a parent can be an unattainable goal when your home life is currently filled with bickering, yelling, or angry silence. Being your best doesn’t fit with your children’s behavior and you aren’t quite sure what happened. You long for another version of your home, where you don’t have to raise your voice to be heard and you never lose your cool. You long to have authentic, connected relationships with your children, rather than be the target of each other’s frustrations.
Most parents fall short of their own expectations.
It’s unavoidable to come upon disappointments and dilemmas in parenting. Unless we were perfectly parented ourselves (hint: none of us were), we are coming up with the script on the fly. We essentially teach ourselves to parent and try to implement the best parts of our own upbringings. But norms from our childhoods have disappeared and the terrain of our children (especially teens) can feel foreign. Parenting can seem like a trap: saying “yes” slides into permissiveness, whereas strictness inspires rebellion. We want to have positive relationships but we also really worry that our kids won’t turn out okay if we aren’t hard on them.
Parenting therapy can help you finally achieve the family dynamics that you’ve always wanted.
As your parenting coach, I will train you to become an “authoritative” parent. An authoritative parent (not to be confused with “authoritarian”) is kind, reliable, consistent, and firm. This parenting style provides healthy boundaries and expectations, while also doling out a generous amount of empathy and positive attention. Positive parenting is evidence-based best practice. It is endorsed by the American Academy of Pediatrics and in all mental health professions.
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If you are struggling with constant cycles of punishment, we will work on establishing healthier consequences for your children. Consequences are not meant to cause suffering but rather enforce the natural order of how life works. We collaborate as parent and therapist to determine your priorities for your child’s behavior. In establishing limits and consequences, we work to honor these goals.
I will teach you how to connect first and then correct. In parenting therapy, the parent/child relationship always comes first. With a healthy parenting relationship, your desires and your guidance are more likely to be heard.
I supplement positive parenting with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for parents. This means that we establish guidelines for positive parenting interactions, but also I ask parents to examine what could get in the way of implementation. When it is time to sit down and have a hard conversation with your child, what might go wrong? What might trigger you? What might trigger your child?
CBT takes us a few layers deeper than positive parenting usually goes. We examine and dispute the distortions that parents may hold. If I find that parents struggle with anxiety, negativity, or catastrophization, positive parenting won’t “stick.” Sometimes, we might need to spend some time exploring the parents’ own childhoods and healing some old wounds. When parents are emotionally regulated, they find it much easier to parent positively.
But you may still have questions about parenting therapy…
How long will it take to see results?
Positive parenting and CBT-informed parenting skills can be a quick learn. Most parents see drastic improvement in their relational skills after just a few sessions. As long as you come to parenting counseling with an openness to grow as a parent, you will soon feel a shift in your outlook and mindset. Parents can choose to enrich (and speed up!) the process by reading and practicing CBT skills outside of session.
Parenting therapy at Kairos Wellness Collective is solution-based and time-limited. We will devise a treatment plan and constantly evaluate if we are meeting our goals. I am happiest when parents outgrow my services and no longer need my support.
What if my partner is not on board with parenting therapy?
Such a situation happens often, and I welcome the interested parent to develop their skills through individual parenting counseling. Obviously having two parents in sync about parenting would be ideal, but the truth is that usually parents grow as individuals, at their own pace. It is almost never productive to drag a reticent partner into parenting therapy, no matter how much they may need it.
We can make a lot of headway in family dynamics with one connected, positive parent. If you model great parenting, your partner will likely follow your lead when they are ready.
I parent from my own culture or religion, and I don’t want to change that. Can you still help me?
Certainly! As a multiculturally competent and multilingual therapist I have had the great honor to work with clients from dozens of countries and many religions. I understand that we all have different perspectives and priorities. I offer a non-judgmental environment wherein we examine how to develop your parenting skills while honoring your cultural paradigm or belief system.
Parenting therapy works best as a collaboration. At the outset of our work together, we will mutually establish specific and measurable goals that make sense for your unique family.
You can grow into the parent you’ve always wanted to be.
If you would like to schedule an appointment or discuss your needs, you can call or text 720-310-0570, email help@kairoswellnesscollective.com, or send a message here. Feel free to reach out by text or phone whenever is convenient. We will get back to you shortly to discuss goals, pricing, and schedule.