How to build your social network when you have OCD

For many of us with OCD, we develop avoidance compulsions around socializing.  Even those of us who do not have a social anxiety presentation of OCD can feel alienated from others because we fear judgement for our behaviors.  People bring uncertainty and often we don’t know how feel in control when we are not alone or with close friends and family. 

Furthermore, OCD can be very demanding of our time, and in fact, most demanding of our attention.  It can feel like too much to give attention to others and to our OCD, and thus we end up choosing the obsessive/compulsive cycle over healthy connections.   

Embracing new social encounters means embracing the unknown, and nourishing long term connections requires a bit of vulnerability around our struggles.  

OCD benefits from us being socially isolated, so we have to fight back against that tendency.  

While everyone needs space from others occasionally, humans are designed to thrive with connectivity.  

The most comfortable space to begin new connections for people with OCD is often online.  

Stepping out of an OCD-controlled real life self into a more outgoing online persona is a way that many have found to circumnavigate intense social unease. 

Online friendships can be a stepping stone to more IRL (in real life) interactions, or simply a destination where there is infinite possibility to connect with others.  

Remember that connections will be disruptive to some OCD rules, however small.  These disruptions are small victories against the control and narrowing that OCD exerts on our social existence.  

Socializing may involve many false starts, but these should never be approached with self-shaming.  There is value in the try, and lessons to be learned from every interaction.  

If you would like support in building your social network but anxiety gets in the way, contact Kairos Wellness Collective today to connect with one of our Exposure Coaches.