Anxiety about the anxiety: How to break the cycle

In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, we ask our clients to face their anxieties head-on.  We support our clients in fighting the urge to avoid anxiety-provoking situations and actions, and we encourage our clients to give voice to their most persistent worries.  However, actually facing anxiety and going through with the dreaded action or situation, can be preceded by a painful period of contemplation.  Here’s what this can look like:

If you are afraid of your anxiety symptoms, you can end up in a struggle to be anxiety-free.  For many sufferers of social anxiety, the beginning of lockdown was actually a beloved respite from some anxiety triggers.  Unfortunately, the welcome comfort of not encountering anxiety triggers can actually be detrimental long-term. 

When we don’t face our fears, we get out of practice in coping with our anxiety.  Our anxiety can feel bigger, more unmanageable. 

We have fewer opportunities to distinguish between the false alarm of our anxiety and actual danger.  When we try to live our lives anxiety-free (by being avoidant of our triggers), we can actually end up expanding the range of things we find intolerable.  10 months into the pandemic, my clients with previously manageable social anxiety were reporting that they were canceling appointments because even the doctor’s office presented a challenging and uncomfortable amount of social interaction. 

The solution: break the avoidance cycle.  

The first step is to notice (with empathy and patience) that we are being avoidant.  You may simply and nonjudgmentally label a behavior as anxiety avoidant.  In session, we shed light on any patterns that may exist in our avoidance.  Through our CBT-guided conversation and exercises, we learn to anticipate potential anxious thoughts and develop the skills to immediately reframe with more positive, grounded thinking.   

Don’t hesitate to ask for support from your loved ones to help you break the anxiety cycle.  Family members and friends who do not share your particular anxieties can be an excellent sounding board to discover healthier thinking patterns about your triggers.