Practical Strategies for Managing Holiday time Anxiety and OCD Flare-ups
Kairos, our Anxiety and OCD center, has already had a busy holiday season. This time of year we see a tremendous uptick in stress reactions among our clients. Many find that returning to their hometowns and families to celebrate the holidays can bring up a lot of unwanted compulsions, worry cycles, and interpersonal conflict. Anxiety and OCD are both cyclical disorders, which are prone to flare ups. Here are my top four strategies for managing this time of year if you or your loved one is dealing with an anxiety disorder
Notice and release anticipatory anxiety.
Much of our anxious suffering happens in the lead up to an event, rather than the event itself. I often tell my clients, “stop yourself from suffering twice,” by catching yourself spiraling before anything negative has even occurred. Most often, due to the cognitive distortions that rule our brains, we misjudge the difficulty of a gathering or a trip. Our brains are notoriously bad at predicting the future, and those of us with anxiety, tend to almost exclusively predict negative outcomes. Anticipatory anxiety can be caught, labeled as such, and let go. Mindfulness tools, such as picturing our fears floating away on a boat, allow us to release unhelpful thoughts.
Lower expectations.
Holiday angst can be greatly reduced if everyone lowers expectations. Gatherings can be incomplete, teenagers can be broodingly silent at the dinner table, and food can be mediocre. The more pressure we put on ourselves and our loved ones, the more we depart from an exercise in connectivity. High expectations lead to rigidity, and rigidity causes familial rifts.
Give yourself time-outs, and allow your loved one to take them. (And yes, screentime works too!)
Many people with OCD and Anxiety simply do not have the bandwidth for more than short spurts of socializing. Allow yourself and family members to take time-outs from the action. In the modern world, we often do this by scrolling meaninglessly on our phones. While to others this may look unproductive, for some, this is a needed respite from the pressures of interaction. Be compassionate for loved ones who just need to zone out, be alone, or disappear into their devices. Trust that they will come back to the family when they are ready.
Give yourself and your loved ones grace. Holidays are for uplifting, not challenging.
The more empathy we can give and receive, the closer we come to a meaningful holiday season. If everything else goes wrong, but our loved ones feel seen and heard, then it has been a wonderful reunion. Lead with compassion in all interactions, but most of all, with yourself.
Please contact Kairos Wellness Collective if you are further interested in managing holiday time anxiety and OCD.
