Sitting with Uncertainty Challenge: Time of Arrival

Many folks with OCD struggle with any potential for lateness.  Some are chronically late due to compulsions needed to leave the house, but most deeply fear the shame of arriving somewhere even a minute or two late.  

An uncertainty challenge for an individual with OCD beginning Exposure Response Prevention is to put tape over the car clock and putting away one’s cell phone during a commute.  When we make the choice to keep ourselves in the dark on the time of arrival, we force ourselves to sit with the possibilities that we will be early, on time, or late.  

We learn we are able to accept the unknown.  

When we welcome the anxiety of the not knowing, we allow ourselves to break free of it.  We realize that if we give ourselves enough time to arrive somewhere, our actual time of arrival is simply a function of elements outside our control.  

When we feel the need to text about our lateness to those waiting for us, or white-knuckle at every stop light, we feed into our sense that our few minutes of lateness is actually shameful.  

The truth is, few notice these minutes as much as those of us with OCD.

At Kairos, a common exposure I assign is actually arriving late to a session.  The intentionality of lateness is often a crucial step in the letting go of this expectation, so that an individual can recalibrate and no longer experience constant punctuality as a compulsion.  

Please contact Kairos Wellness Collective if you would like to learn more about Exposure Response Prevention for OCD.