Letting Go of Therapeutic Resistance

Most clients experience some therapeutic resistance, especially at the beginning of treatment.  It means that clients are sabotaging their own progress in therapy, usually unconsciously.  Sometimes this can take the form of withholding critical information from the therapist or steering the conversation away from vulnerabilities and towards externalized stressors. Therapeutic resistance can also look like a cheery affect, and a flippant “I’m really not sure I need a session today!”  The most detrimental form of therapeutic resistance is a client that avoids therapy and eventually leaves treatment with no closure.

Some responsibility for therapeutic resistance must be borne by the therapist.  It is our job to create a safe space for our clients.  We must sense when to push and when to soothe.  We must prioritize our clients’ readiness to our therapeutic agenda.  We must engage clients in forming their own goals and treat reluctance to change with compassion.

However, at South Boulder Counseling, I also ask my clients to take ownership of their therapeutic resistance and commit to challenging themselves in the therapy room.  I kindly but clearly point out moments of deflection, and unwillingness to sit with vulnerability and distress.  I encourage my clients to let go of things they can’t control and try to focus their attention in therapy on what actually is in their control. 

I don’t want to charge my clients for conversations about superficial problems.  Similarly, I don’t believe that therapy should simply be a “trauma dump” to a good listener.  Clients come to therapy because, on some level, they long for self-actualization and true change.  Part of my role is to help my client see the places where they stand in their own way. 

In my practice, we tackle therapeutic resistance collaboratively and thoughtfully.  When both therapist and client enter the space with openness to feedback and a common goal, therapy can flourish.  When both therapist and client wholeheartedly commit to positive change and progress, therapeutic resistance will naturally dissipate.